Yesterday, I was in Boston for Gabby Bernstein's new book launch for "Super Attractor." I've been to a few of her book launches in Los Angeles and I am always inspired by her live audiences. During her talk, she asked who in the audience was a pusher... pushing to make things happen and trying to control the outcome? And that's exactly what I was doing during the summer with one aspect of my business. Pushing, struggling, and trying to control a situation to make something work that simply was not. I wanted this thing to work and to feel like I was making a difference. I ended up feeling undervalued, taken advantage of, and energetically depleted. I had to make a choice. I took a breath and let go. I released my need to control. So, I took myself out of a situation that no longer served me.
After doing so, I booked two great yoga teaching opportunities. In that short time span from when I decided to let go of my obstacle and book those gigs, I realized I had actually been blocking my own success. I've done it before, but now it's getting easier to spot it and change my actions. I've learned it's not so much about hustling and trying to make these opportunities happen, it's more about being in the flow and allowing things to come as they should, naturally.
If you have to push, is it really meant for you? In my 20s, I would find myself involved with men who were not committed or even close to commitment material. I would push and push to try to get them to see I was quality girlfriend/wifey material. And clearly, I was not. LOL. These "relationshits" would always blow up in my face and I would always wonder why. Well, cuz I was pushing waaaaay too hard. I was trying to control everything, instead of enjoying my time in these flings and just have fun.
So, this was another opportunity for me to step back, observe my behavior, and then change my pattern of controlling behavior. Once I did that, things began to change. More teaching opportunities arose, and I got my spark back. I'm learning that if I push too hard, it works against me. Now, for real this time. . . I'm only saying "Yes" to things that really spark joy in my soul. Life is too short for less than that because if it's not a definite "Yes," it's an absolute "NO."